Going back to the Reservation
Victor managed to get off the reservation and move to Oregon, but life outside the reservation seemed much harder and scarier than he thought. Because life was much more complicated, Victor struggled with fitting in socially. Everywhere he went there would always be discrimination and he would always get weird looks from everyone. He didn’t feel comfortable and he didn’t feel welcomed. He knew that most Indians that left the reservation always ended up going back. So just like most Indians, he went back to the reservation to continue the life he had. At first, Victor thought that life off the reservation seemed amazing. He had found himself a white girlfriend who had helped him find a job at her brother’s Restaurant. They met at a bus station, where he helped carry her grocery bags. He explained how he was looking for a job and a new place to live. Victor worked many hard hours a day and finally earned enough money to pay for rental housing, but it was hard for Victor. He struggled a lot, with Indians being discriminated, and racial conflicts everywhere. He always felt very uncomfortable with the outside world.
Every night he dreamed about the reservation, about his friends and family and neighbours. He missed every single one of them. He imagined them all rich and having nice fancy cars like most of the rich white people that Victor noticed one in a while. He also dreamed about how life would be if there was no reservations, and Indians weren’t discriminated against. Although he knew the reservation had many flaws, every night he only dreamed about the happiness and friendship that were created on the reservation. The feeling of not fitting in the outside world killed Victor everyday, and he didn’t know exactly where he fits in. He felt so unloved and so lonely.
One day during his night shift at the restaurant, he broke up with his girlfriend, quit his job, and packed up all his belongings and finally jumped on the next bus back to his reservation. He was scared to go back, but he didn’t like the life he was living outside of the reservation. He appeared at the doorstep of his old house and his mother walked out slowly to see who it was. She was shocked and happy to see him. Victor went inside and told his mother all his stories and adventures he experienced while away. After a long talk with his mother, Victor drove over to a Powwow. That night it was his first time getting drunk. He hadn’t had a drop of alcohol since he was last living on the reservation. Suddenly, drink after drink, Victor saw himself becoming an alcoholic. Just like all his other friends, every night they would sit on the porch and watch the broken traffic light and drink until they couldn’t walk. Day after day, victor continued his daily routine of getting drunk. Living on the reservation seemed much better than the hard life outside. Although he felt he was surrounded by failure, it was better than feeling alone and being scared of living.
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